There is absolutely nothing wrong about drinking or driving. Do read that again to make sure that you didn't get it wrong. I think that they do mix: just not in that order and never with a car that has no cupholders (not the funniest joke, I admit).

I consider driving to be one of the biggest joys in my life. I savour the taste of being behind the wheel, almost to the point of intoxication. And there are few pleasures in life that matches the combination of the right roads and the right car.

It gets even sweeter when there's something at the end of the road to be a "reward".

If it's the end of an evening drive after dinner (yes, I do go for those for the fun of it), a glass of single malt on the rocks is a brilliant finish. And after the said glass, there's little harm to having the next one or three in the row. We don't want the ice to melt for nothing now, do we.

Picture the scenario when the order is wrong.

Not that I cook, but the right sequence is more important than merely having the ingredients. Try serving a piece of bloody sirloin BEFORE putting it on the pan, that's like having a Flaming Lamborghini before going out in the Lamborghini (which could end up in flames, actually…)

Imagine – yes, only in your head and do not try it – that you are tanked up on any poison of your fancy before grabbing the car keys. It doesn't take very much alcohol in the blood to not only mess up your judgement on the road.

Even if you do not get into trouble, whether with the law, the kerb or another car, your senses just won't be quite as alert to pick up the subtle nuances from the car's controls, numbing the pleasure of driving.

But if you are knocking back the booze after a satisfying drive, the memory gets sweetened, swirled and intensified by the rush of whatever it is that makes alcohol so desirable.

The reminiscing could tempt you to reach for the keys again. This is an awfully bad idea of course and that is why I have switched on the computer and preach this to you. Not that I need a Lambo to have fun, or soda for Johnnie.

* Keep drinking and driving separate, please!

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