Our senior writer is turned on by the thought of a 400bhp engine powering his washing machine.
WHILE everyone else thinks that housework is literally a chore, I, on the other hand, find it relaxing because it involves “brainless” activities compared to a typical workweek, which is mentally taxing.
When your days are spent churning out stories and planning photo shoots (just some of the tips of the Torque editorial iceberg), housework is actually a relief.
My favourite chore is laundry. I love the smell and feel of clean clothes. I even enjoy the hanging, ironing and folding.
A few weeks ago, as I was waiting for my washing machine to finish its spin cycle, I found myself daydreaming about how much more fun it’d be if the appliance was driven by the 3.8-litre flat-6 from a 991 Carrera S.
I pictured the motor firing up just as the water reaches its optimal level. Then, the revs would rise as the washing process begins. Oh, and there would also be a dual-clutch gearbox to ensure the smooth transfer of power from the motor to the drum.
The real fun, however, starts with the spinning cycle. To get my clothes dry, the flat-6 must hit (and remain) at redline. As the process begins winding down, the transmission’s downshifts will be accompanied by delightfully deafening throttle blips, which will reverberate throughout my home.
Naturally, the machine would have some form of carbon-ceramic braking system that could stop the spinning drum in a second. I’m sure that Shreejit, our resident engineer, could easily devise such a system.
However, as I was hanging my clothes on the drying rack, I realised that my fantasy would never come true because my neighbours would be angered by the noise.
And as supportive as my better half is, she would never want our house filled with potentially explosive petrol fumes, no matter how good they might smell to me.
Relaxing chores become downright fun when my motoring fantasies are incorporated into them.
