British and American “armoured units” face off against a German “panzer” and a Japanese “tank” in this heated battle for suburbanites’ hearts and minds.
COMPETITION for scarce resources has resulted in numerous conflicts throughout history.
In a similar vein, the increasingly crowded SUV segment has left motorists spoilt for choice and made the rivalry between car manufacturers that much harder. In this case, the scarce resources are the buyers and their dollars.
The British contender in this orbat is the MINI Cooper Countryman. It is bigger and roomier than its predecessor, yet promises to be more agile. Will this maxi-MINI have enough firepower to outgun its three rivals here?
Lining up beside the Countryman is a “Yank Tank” with military roots – the Jeep Compass. Can the muscular design and off-roading potential (it’s the only contender with all-wheel-drive) of the Compass direct SUV buyers towards the Jeep showroom?
Arguably the most formidable player in this contest is a “panzer” in the form of a Volkswagen Tiguan, for it is the only SUV here with an ST-Torque Best in Class award under its belt. Will the Tiguan’s keen drivetrain and well-built cabin be enough to fend off the competition?
The dark horse in this shootout might just be the Honda CR-V. It has the most ponies under its bonnet, and its seven-seater layout (the others are five-seaters) means it could also function as an “armoured personnel carrier” on the SUV battlefield.
Which of these “suburban tanks” will emerge victorious over both rivals and allies alike? We’re locked and loaded, so man your stations as this battle begins!
COUNTRYMAN
RIDE & HANDLING
Countryman’s comparatively firmer dampers enhance its nimble handling, but also make the “British Army man” better suited to urban, instead of rural, operations.
ENGINE & GEARBOX
MINI’s turbocharged 1.5-litre 3-cylinder with 136hp and 220Nm has the least firepower, but goes the furthest in a forced march because it has the highest fuel efficiency.
Cooper Countryman’s 6-speed automatic may have the fewest ratios, but makes up for this by being the keenest gearbox here.
COCKPIT
The most stylish, thanks to elements such as toggle switches and colourful mood lighting. The infotainment is the most intuitive, while the access is easy enough for the shorter vehicle- commander to get in and out of the “turret”.
METERS
Snipers will need even keener eyesight as these gauges are the smallest in this company. Even the digital speed readout might be too small, which is ironic given the Countryman’s size.
BACKSEAT
The platoon’s most practical backseat has the largest doorbins, which could be useful for storing extra mags or rations. The low ride height makes it easier to deploy or pick up troops.
BOOT
Countryman’s 450-litre cargo hold is the most convenient, thanks to its lowest loading point and numerous tethering points. The pull-out cushioned flap is ready for soldiers to sit on while doing an equipment check.
COMPASS
RIDE & HANDLING
Compass’ ride-handling setup is the polar opposite of the Countryman’s, for this “Yank Tank” feels rugged and wants to go off-roading all the time.
ENGINE & GEARBOX
Jeep’s turbocharged 1.4-litre 4-cylinder with 170hp and 250Nm feels the least responsive. But it’ll get a quick reaction force into battle the most quickly, as its century sprint time of 8.3 seconds is surprisingly the fastest.
The Compass’ 9-speed automatic is relatively smooth and, like the Countryman, has its manual override points in the “correct” orientation.
COCKPIT
Just like the US Army, this American “war machine” is also the best-equipped, with features such as adaptive cruise control, ventilated seats and all-wheel- drive mode selection. The narrow footrest and small doorbins, however, make this place less comfortable for those in combat boots.
METERS
Geekier soldiers will salute the Jeep’s customisable secondary display, whose graphics are the sharpest of the four. They will also respect the “rugged” outline of the dials, which resemble chunky tyre treads.
BACKSEAT
Jeep’s bench has the best connectivity, with a three- pin, 230-volt power point and a USB port, which is handy for downloading mission briefings on the go. The steep angle of the backrest, however, makes it the least mission-ready here.
BOOT
Compass’ 438-litre trunk is better for taller troops as it has the highest loading point. Underfloor storage is the most generous, so it can function as a spare ammo cache.
TIGUAN
RIDE & HANDLING
Tiguan’s ride-handling balance is the most optimal, and the relatively quiet ride makes it easier for the occupants to maintain communications with their headquarters.
ENGINE & GEARBOX
Volkswagen’s turbocharged 1.4-litre 4-cylinder with 148hp and 250Nm is the most advanced in this SUV war, thanks to its cylinder deactivation technology. Said feature helps to conserve fuel and maybe gives it the edge in stealth for recce missions.
COCKPIT
VW’s cabin is the most driver- friendly and has the best build quality, too. However, there’s no cruise control or sat-nav, so newbie drivers may at times have to rely on their comrades to read GPS maps and give directions.
METERS
Again the most driver-friendly, with well-spaced digits and just the right amount of content. This allows the driver to stay focused on the motoring mission instead of being distracted during the drive.
BACKSEAT
Commandos who just returned from a raid would be the happiest in the Tiguan cabin, as the backseat is the most spacious and has the cushiest bench, too. The VW’s third climate zone is useful, and unique in this company.
BOOT
Tiguan’s 615-litre volume is the biggest and has the widest aperture, so it can take longer items such as sniper rifles and anti-tank weapons. The backrest release levers make it easy to expand the cargo space, too.
CR-V
RIDE & HANDLING
CR-V’s soft dampers and buttery ride make it the most comfortable personnel-carrier in this story, and its cushiness is a boon to troopers with banged-up bodies.
ENGINE & GEARBOX
Honda’s turbocharged 1.5-litre 4-pot with 190hp and 243Nm is the brawniest by far, but having to lug the heaviest body makes it the thirstiest.
CR-V’s CVT is the creamiest transmission here, but it could use a manual override feature – in case dynamic manoeuvres are needed for quick escapes.
COCKPIT
Special-forces operators will be the most comfortable here as the front seats are the cushiest and the air-con is the coldest. Those packing tech gear will also love the numerous connectivity and charging options.
METERS
The group’s only fully digital cluster is the sharpest and easiest to read under any lighting condition. Tweaking the layout and navigating through the menus, however, is still easier in the Compass.
BACKSEAT
The most flexible interior, as CR-V is the only one with a third row of seats – perhaps to accommodate hostages after a rescue mission. However, legroom in the second row is the least generous, and its backrests are the shortest.
BOOT
CR-V’s 472-litre boot (with third-row folded) is pretty commodious. However, the lack of a uniformly flat surface means that when loose paramilitary items such as magazines fall out, they’ll be hard to find.
LAST WORD
The Jeep Compass is arguably the best all-rounder in this little “tank battle”. It feels rugged, has the coolest amenities, and is the only one here with the sure-footedness of all-wheel-drive. It is more than up to the task of a suburbanite’s daily missions, which include school and office runs, along with weekend trips to East Coast Park for some R&R.
While the Compass can probably tackle any off-road surface with the right tyres, its on-road performance could definitely be enhanced. The ride quality isn’t as settled as its rivals’, and its performance doesn’t feel as quick as claimed.
Ironically, it’s the MINI Cooper Countryman that feels the quickest, despite it having the least power and the slowest 0-to-100km/h time. Apart from being nippy, this British contender is the nimblest, too, and can easily get its occupants in and out of tight spots.
We also like the Countryman’s stylish and practical interior, which offers fast ingress/egress, too. For urban “warfare” requiring rapid deployment, the Countryman would be our choice.
If the urban operations require added flexibility, then the Honda CR-V should be your top pick. This seven-seater’s strong points include a cushy cabin, numerous connectivity options, and very efficient air-conditioning to deal with torrid weather. We’re also fans of the CR-V’s brawny drivetrain.
The CR-V’s biggest downside is that it’s the thirstiest tank of the group, so the CR-V tends to perform fewer ops between top-ups.
The Volkswagen Tiguan does not have the CR-V’s muscle, the Compass’ off-roading abilities or the Countryman’s penchant for urban “warfare”. But like a real German panzer, the Tiguan is impressively well-engineered.
The VW’s key strengths include a snappy gearbox, optimal ride-handling balance and a driver-friendly cockpit. And its cylinder deactivation technology saves fuel and makes for quieter running, which is crucial when stealth is required.
Despite not being big on “firepower”, the Tiguan’s massive boot will nevertheless enable five well-armed commandos to pack even more weapons, ammo and supplies with them. That should enable them to remain in the fight long after the opposing force has run dry.
THE COUNTRYMAN IS THE MOST TROOP-FRIENDLY, THE COMPASS IS THE MOST SUREFOOTED, THE TIGUAN IS THE MOST COMFORTABLE AND THE CR-V IS THE MOST VERSATILE.
(Left to right) Cooper Countryman’s fob looks the cutest, Compass’ device feels the most robust, Tiguan’s switchblade-type key looks relatively dated but its buttons are the nicest to press, while CR-V’s fob is the most pocket-friendly thanks to its smaller and slimmer profile.
PHOTOS TAN MENG CHOON
ART DIRECTION MICHAEL CHIAN
