My annual exercise of being shoehorned into a camouflage uniform always puts me in a contemplative mood. With my entire day in camp planned out for me, vital brainpower is freed up to ponder the important questions, such as “What is my role in the universe?” and, even more importantly, “Did I remember to pack enough underwear?”. As I said, there’s plenty of time to think.
Which might explain the next thought that popped into my busy brain as a tank trundled past: how it, and not a hyper-expensive supercar, is the ultimate vehicle.
Yes, it might only top out at around 70km/h instead of 370km/h, and while it probably has power in excess of 1000bhp, this will come from a diesel engine lugging around something about as large as a small house (and weighing as much, too).
But seriously, are you going to be the one arguing against something armed with a cannon that fires a round almost a metre long and around 250kg in weight? I thought not.
Now, imagine what it’ll be like to drive on the road. If the sight of a tracked vehicle (bristling with weapons) filling your mirrors isn’t enough to terrify, try this little nugget on for size… Most modern tanks have fairly similar top speeds, whether on paved or unpaved surfaces, the latter being gravel paths, passenger cars, etc. This means cutting one off could have consequences slightly more dire than a friendly toot on the horn, which consequently means people look out for you, not the other way around. Ah, what a satisfying way to commute.
Tank ownership could also put a permanent end to parking woes. Just drive up to wherever you want, cut the engine, and go do what you need to. Anyone tries to find issue, you could always introduce them to your not-so-little friend on the front. Or, simply drive up the relevant supermarket aisle, pop the hatch and grab that carton of milk.
Oh, and it’ll also fit a family and their attendant gear. True, they’ll probably have to live without air-conditioning, endure the incessant din and suffer the notable lack of niceties such as an in-car DVD player, but hey, nobody ever said every vehicle was perfect.
Horsepower is definitely a very welcome thing, but if I had to choose, I’d go for firepower instead. After all, no prancing horse ever did have a great big whopping cannon mounted on its snout, did it?
