How I did in “qualifying” for my F1 drive

Having prepared myself in Singapore before my F1 drive at the Paul Ricard circuit, I was pretty confident of handling the F1 car without too much tuition. My first task of the day was to suit up in genuine racing overalls and start living the F1 dream (or nightmare if I crash the car). After the safety briefing, I took an exploration ride in a Renault Trafic van, with the instructor on board highlighting the circuit’s ample run-off areas (whew!) and specially placed cones. These colour cones, placed at every corner, would tell me when and where to brake (red), downshift (orange), turn (yellow) and accelerate (green). Each bend also had a blue cone to mark the apex, so I would know exactly where to aim the nose of the rocket as I carved out that racing line.Individual cockpit fitting ensured that I could get into said rocket, which came with a driver-size limit of 190cm and 100kg. Lessons on the start procedure made sure that I could leave the pit lane in the first place.

Then, a physiotherapy session determined whether I was fit enough to drive the F1 car. They took my blood pressure (“Not too high, but adrenalin seems to be pumping…”). They tested the strength of my arms, head and neck (“Hmmm, he’s definitely no Alonso…”). They checked for recent injury or surgery (“Do you type a lot?…). They also looked out for signs of mental illness, just in case.

I was certified as imperfectly normal and ready to roll.